Dear trans, nonbinary, genderqueer, and genderfluid friends (and your loved ones, parents, allies, and advocates),

I see you. I hear you. I am here for you. (And so are many others).

Before we begin,  A note: I am keeping the most updated version of this document at this link.

If you’re queer, trans, nonbinary, genderfluid, otherwise LGBTQ, or the parent or loved one of a queer or trans student, I have no doubt you are more than aware of the anti-trans legislation sweeping across the US in record numbers over the last few years (so far over 800 bills this year alone), and the potential consequences for trans students as a result of the recent election. So, before I say anything more, I want to stop and tell you students that I see you and I am working very hard to find the best options for you – and I’m not alone. There are lots of people out here working to make the world a safer and more accepting place for you. 

This NBC news article from last spring highlights the worries, thoughts, and feelings so many trans students and their parents and loved ones are feeling about moving forward in their lives. And this piece in Salon.com, written by the mom of a Trans applicant in the Spring of 2023 pretty much explains it all: For my transgender daughter, there are only 18 States of America | Salon.com. 

Like everything college admissions, I encourage you to ask questions and learn as much as possible about admissions, campus safety, and the culture and vibe on campus. See, even in these dark days, by taking some time and learning more with intention, you can find a space where you can thrive. Many college campuses are overwhelmingly supportive spaces, and you can find places to grow and live the life you want to live. But your safety comes first. 

I was happy to see that NACAC, the National Association of College Admissions Counselors,  shared last spring that Forbes and Inside Higher Ed reported about students and families paying attention to state laws. Forbes’ 1 in 4 Students Rule Out Colleges Based on State Politics or Policies and Inside Higher Ed’s 1 in 4 Students Nixes a College Based on State Politics, Survey Shows, you’ll see that over a quarter of college bound students and their families are citing “particular socio political issues–such as abortion rights, gun control, and LGBTQ+ rights–as exerting some or absolute influence on why they nixed a certain institution.” This is reflected in my students and families and the impact of state legislation on their college choices and families. 

So, I think, first and foremost, you must find schools that are in states that offer protections if that’s possible for you, and then look for colleges in those states that openly accept queer students. Many liberal arts colleges are particularly safe and welcoming to the queer community, where you can fully embrace your queer and trans joy. You can find out by snooping around their website, going on a visit and asking students or the admissions office, or checking out their LGBTQ clubs and groups online and seeing how active they are. If you can visit, definitely stop by and check any services or LGBTQ+ centers they may have for you. Or reach out to them online or by phone. Ask if there is one; if there’s not, that might be a sign that the school wouldn’t be particularly welcoming.

Let’s Start Here: Brainstorm your options. 

  1. Be open to a gap year.
  2. Keep up with state laws and current state and federal legislation
  3. Explore International Options
  1. Gap Year: You might decide that now is not the right time for you to take off and be on your own, or you’re ready to be off and on your own, but it might not be the right time for you to commit to the college experience. Here are some suggestions:
  • Organized gap year programs
  • Therapy
  • Exercise
  • Part-time or full-time employment
  • Community service
  • Smithsonian Scribe
  • Wwoofing — World wide opportunities on Organic Farms
  • Non-credit giving and free courses (MOOCs) like Coursera, Udemy, edX, Harvard, Stanford Online, Khan Academy, Crash Course, Study Hall (make sure you are doing non-credit courses. if you do for credit courses, you could end up needing to apply as a transfer student instead of a first year)
  1. Learning about and keeping up with state laws: Now – more than ever – it’s essential for you to not only look into how accommodating the college is for you as a trans or queer student but also it’s necessary to investigate the state laws. I’m using this map (last updated on February 20, 2026) from Erin Reed, who‘s on Instagram as @ErinInTheMorning and TikTok to create my lists of “Most Protective States and Supportive States.” This list will certainly change this spring as state legislatures meet to make new laws. I subscribe to Erin’s substack email list, where she sends super helpful information. If you’re a counselor, parent, advocate, or loved one of trans students, I recommend subscribing to her email list. She gives fantastic up-to-date news, insight, and info. A note: These are tumultuous times, and this list could easily – and quickly – change:

THESE ARE THE MOST PROTECTIVE STATES WITH SOME FORM OF SHIELD LAW: California, Colorado, Connecticut, Hawaii, Illinois, Massachusetts, Maryland, Minnesota, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Oregon, Rhode Island, Vermont, Washington

NO ANTI-TRANS LEGISLATION, BUT NO SHIELD LAWS: Arizona, Delaware, Maine, Michigan, Nevada, Pennsylvania, Virginia, Washington DC, Wisconsin

MOST ACTIVE ANTI-TRANS LAWS or BILLS IN LEGISLATION: Alabama, Idaho, Iowa, Kansas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Montana, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, West Virginia, Wyoming

THESE STATES ARE ALSO TARGETING TRANS FOLKS: Arkansas, Georgia, Indiana, Missouri, Nebraska, New Hampshire, South Carolina

CONSIDER AVOIDING THESE AS WELL: Kentucky, North Carolina

More info and resources about States and Laws

Suggested Trans-Friendly Colleges:

I’ve either met with these college admissions folks to discuss trans issues, or I’ve heard from counselors who work with trans students, or trans students or parents of trans students that these colleges are Trans-Friendly in the states listed above (who do NOT have anti-trans legislation currently passed or pending (as always, you must do your own research here – things are changing quickly). I’m always looking for more suggestions, so PLEASE feel free to make suggestions – or corrections – based on your research or your experiences. 

  • *note: environments are changing rapidly at colleges, so be sure you’re keeping up with the most recent news. 

Check out these Two-Minute College Visit Reels – just for trans and genderqueer college applicants. 

Arizona: Arizona State, Northern Arizona U, U Arizona

California: Cal Poly SLO, Cal State Long Beach, Chico State, San Francisco State, Sonoma State, Chapman, Claremont McKenna, Dominican U, Occidental, Pitzer, Pomona, Scripps, UC Santa Barbara, UC Berkeley, UC Davis, UC Irvine, UCLA, UC Riverside, UC Santa Cruz, U Pacific, USC, U Redlands

Colorado: CU Boulder, Colorado Mesa, Colorado State, Fort Lewis, U Denver, U Northern Colorado

Connecticut: UConn, Trinity College, Wesleyan, *Yale

Illinois: Augustana, Bradley University, Columbia College, Illinois Tech, Knox, Lake Forest College, Northern Illinois University, Northwestern,  SIU Carbondale, UIUC

Maine: Bates, Bowdoin, Colby, College of the Atlantic

Maryland: Goucher, McDaniel College, St. John’s College, St. Mary’s College of Maryland, U Maryland College Park

Massachusetts: Babson, Berklee School of Music, Boston U, Brandeis, Bridgewater State, Clark U, Emerson, Hampshire College, *Harvard, Lesley U, Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts (MCLA), MIT, Mount Holyoke, Northeastern, Salem State University, Simmons, Smith, Springfield College, Tufts, UMass Amherst, UMass Dartmouth, Wellesley, Wheaton College, Worcester Polytechnic Institute (WPI)

Michigan: Alma College, CCS Detroit, Central Michigan U, Michigan State, Northern Michigan, U Michigan

Minnesota: Augsburg U, Carleton, Macalester, St. Olaf, UMinnesota Twin Cities

Nevada: UN Reno

New Jersey: Drew, Montclair State, Princeton, Rowan University, Rutgers, The College of New Jersey

New Mexico: University of New Mexico

New York: Adelphi, Alfred University, Bard, Barnard, Clarkson, Columbia, Cornell, Hamilton, Hobart and William Smith, Ithaca College, Marist, The New School, NYU, Pace NYC, Pace University Westchester, Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute (RPI), Rochester Institute of Technology, Sarah Lawrence, Skidmore, SUNY Geneseo, SUNY New Paltz, SUNY Purchase, Stony Brook, Union College, U Rochester, Vassar

Oregon: Lewis and Clark, Oregon State, Oregon Tech, Pacific U Oregon, Portland State, Reed, Southern Oregon, UOregon, Western Oregon, Willamette

Pennsylvania: Allegheny, Carnegie Mellon, Dickinson, Juniata, Muhlenberg, Penn State, Susquehanna, Swarthmore, UPenn, U Pitt, Ursinus

Rhode Island: *Brown, Johnson and Wales, RISD

Vermont: Bennington, Champlain, University of Vermont, Vermont State University

Virginia: George Mason, Virginia Commonwealth

Washington State: Central Washington University, Evergreen State, Pacific Lutheran U, U Puget Sound, U Washington, Washington State, Western Washington U, Whitman

Washington DC: American, George Washington U

Wisconsin: Beloit, Lawrence, UW Eau Claire, UW Madison, UW Milwaukee

* A note – if you feel like you must attend college in a state with active anti-trans legislation for whatever reason, look for colleges in shield or sanctuary cities like Kansas City, MO, Columbia, MO, and Lawrence, KS. There are others like Austin, TX, but the state of Texas has many proclamations that state law preempts city law, so I’d be sure to do a lot of research about that.

  1. If you feel like you need to leave the US, here are some countries to consider: 

Australia, New Zealand, Scotland, Ireland, Canada, Spain, and other parts of Europe like France or Switzerland. Here’s a document that has more information about a few colleges around the world and information about their application processes: Universities Abroad. Also, this map might be helpful. 

SIX Tips for Trans, Nonbinary, and Genderqueer Applicants

  1. SELF–CARE: First and foremost, please take care of yourself.  Embrace your joy, your sense of who you are, your ability to see beyond the binary, and how you understand the world around you. I know it feels awful and overwhelming and scary right now – I’m truly scared right now too, but you are so much more than that fear. I have lots of posts about mindfulness and dealing with the stress of college admissions, and some of that will work for you for sure if you allow yourself to try it. But, my number one piece of advice to you to make it through these roughest of times is to hold on to you who you are, embrace your joy, share your magic, and know that there are people out there who love you and care about you even if you don’t know them – and you are not alone. Hug your loved ones –even if it’s just a teddy bear. Find someone to talk to in a safe space. Parents and caretakers, show your kids you are there for them. Talk to them. Hug them.
  1. Reach out to the College or University’s LGBTQ+/Campus Pride Organization. Ask questions. 

If possible, visit the school and meet with the LBGTQ+ groups and organizations.If you can’t get on campus, educate yourself about the environment on and around campus:

  • Have they had instances of anti-trans, anti-queer, anti-gay violence or bullying?
  • How do queer and trans students mix with others?
  • What kind of support do they provide for your community, especially during these tumultuous times?
  • What kind of school participation is there in local pride events?
  • Are there LGBTQ+ Campus Student Groups that are funded by the school
  1. Talk to Admissions. Ask Questions: Be sure to ask college admissions offices these kinds of questions when doing your research or reaching out on tours/visits/info sessions:
  • Do they have sexual identity and gender-inclusive housing?
  • Do they have a nondiscrimination policy for trans/queer students?
  • Do they allow students to change their names on campus records?
  • What resources and opportunities do they have to support trans/queer students?
  • Do the schools’ health clinics and health plans cover trans medical care if that’s something you are interested in? Here’s a list of colleges that offer gender-affirming care: https://www.gennyb.com/research/trans-supportive-campus-policies/medical-expense-coverage/
  1. Think about your Essays: To come out or not to come out? You don’t have to write about being trans or gay or queer, in your essays, but you certainly can if it’s a story you want to tell. If you’re worried it might hurt you in admissions, ask yourself this question: Do I want to attend a college that would deny me because of who I am? Below, I’ve linked to College Essays Guy’s great posts that are based on a workshop he held that I attended.
  2. Keep up with the forms: While many colleges ask for your preferred name, you may still need to use your birth name if it hasn’t been legally changed yet so that all your paperwork and files won’t get lost or disorganized. 
  • A piece of advice from a parent: “If you choose to use your preferred name (on your application and/or at college), your college may use that name when contacting your parents. For instance, I’ve gotten emails from colleges my youngest child applied to that used their preferred name and had a student employee call from my eldest’s college during a fund drive who used their preferred name. If you aren’t out to your family, you may not want to officially use a preferred name at school. The method for asking for gender-neutral housing, signing up to use a preferred name, and getting support is different at each school. In most cases, the best point of contact seems to be the school’s LGBTQ+ organization.”

Common App Updates for 2023 from commonapp.org: 

  • Added “X or another legal sex” as an option for legal sex question 
  • Expanded the account creation section to include a question asking if students would like to share a different first name that people call them 
  • Added a question asking for students to indicate their communication preferences with Common App 
  • Common App will not share a student’s answer to this question with colleges, recommenders, or third parties 
  • Added “Which name should Common App use when addressing you in the app or via email?” question to the communication preference section 
  • Selection will update the display name shown within the student’s Common App account and student-only Common App communications
  •  Common App communications to other parties (e.g. parents and recommenders) will continue to use the student’s legal name
  1. Research Local Sources to Find LGBTQ + Friendly Colleges: Check out Dr. Genny Beemyn’s site, make sure you research more local sources, and like I’m a broken record, I’m gonna say it again, make sure you’re researching state and local laws:

Should you be open about being trans, genderqueer, or nonbinary in your application and essay? 

This is my advice from before Fall 2025: As far as writing about it, that will be up to you. My suggestion is to use the “Additional Info” section if you feel like there are issues you’ve had or any circumstances that have affected your application because of being trans, nonbinary, or genderqueer. But I definitely don’t think there’s any harm in discussing who you are in your essay, either. To me, if a college didn’t want to accept me for an essential part of who I am, then I wouldn’t want to go there. So, I ask you, why would you want to go to a college that wouldn’t accept you simply because you’re trans, gender non-conforming, gay, or another gender or sexual minority?

Fall 2025/Spring 2026 advice: Coming out in your essay or even in the Gender/Sex part of the Profile Section of the Common App should be a student-to-student, family-to-family decision. We just don’t know where this administration is headed for trans people, and we don’t know how colleges will respond when they are pushed by the admin. While I encourage all my students to embrace who they are and live life fully as themselves, I also recognize that for some families and students, caution feels better. 

More Resources:

  1. Should I come out in my college essay? College Essay Guy has a three-part series that’s well worth reading!!!
  2. Part 2, and 10 Great Example Essays by LGBTQ Students

Helpful Resources for Finding Schools That Work for You!

Scholarship Opportunities for LGBTQ+ Applicants and Students:

  • HRC Student Scholarship Database — List of scholarships and grants created by Human Rights Campaign
  • GAMMA MU Foundation — The Gamma Mu Foundation focuses on rural and other underserved LGBTQ+ populations across the US
  • Point Foundation — “Point Foundation empowers promising lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer students to achieve their full academic and leadership potential – despite the obstacles often put before them – to make a significant impact on society.”
  • Stonewall Community Foundation Scholarship — From their site “We take education seriously, knowing that it has the power to help LGBTQ people overcome complex social and economic barriers. For nearly 15 years, we have partnered with donors to create scholarships that provide unique opportunities and access to education, both in New York City and throughout the country.”
  • Pride Foundation: Scholarship Opportunities – Pride Foundation
  • Out for Education for students in or from the Greater Houston Area

What can you do as a counselor, ally, advocate, parent, or loved one?

The best thing you can do is show your support. Acknowledge what’s happening in our country today, and don’t try to diminish your loved one’s concerns. The fear is real. The concerns are real. The danger is real. Educate yourself and learn as much as possible about locations that will be safe for your child, friend, or loved one. Send letters to your state and US Representatives and Senators, letting them know you support the trans community. Also, if your child decides NOT to apply to a college because of their policies or lack thereof, let the college know. 

 

My best advice to applicants and families: ask questions, research, and be your own best advocate. 💖✨💖

 

“When we’re growing up, there are all sorts of people telling us what to do when what we really need is space to work out who to be. “ — Elliot Page

 

#MoreLoveLessHate     #TransRightsAreHuman Rights

 

tl;dr:

  1. Check state laws and legislation
  2. Reach out to LGBTQ+ centers on campus
  3. Do your research
  4. Ask questions
  5. Be careful with your forms and using your name if you haven’t come out officially
  6. Embrace your trans joy
  7. If you feel like you’re in danger of self-harm or you’re struggling with suicidal thoughts, and you’re in the US, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255) or call 988